Another Good Book: AfterShock

I was going to link to the article in my local paper, the Oregonian, about this cool book, but here we are on June 11, and the article on June 5 is nowhere to be found on their website. Transitory news. (As one used to see on bumperstickers mocking the paper's then advertising slogan, following the breaking of a scandal about Oregon's senator in an East Coast paper, "If it matters to Oregonians, it's in the Washington Post.")

The book is AfterShock: What to Do When the Doctor Gives You - Or Someone You Love - A Devastating Diagnosis by Jessie Gruman, Ph.D. Here's the website.

Since it is an almost universal human experience in the modern, western world, that we will someday stroll into a doctor's office and stumble out into a changed world, changed only by the words spoken aloud by the doctor or other health professional, this book is for everyone I know. Almost everyone of us will get such a diagnosis in our lifetime. Or someone we love will.

This looks like my kind of book. It looks like real, practical advice, both about what to do to respond to the medical crisis, but how to handle the emotional aftermath.

The article in my local paper said, if you don't need this book now, don't read it now. Buy it, and keep it on the shelf, or lend it to someone who does need it now.

I'm not sure how to handle that advice. I have diabetes, type 2. Does that qualify as a devastating diagnosis? Type 1, yes, devastating, absolutely. But Type 2?? My diagnosis was years ago, although the more current issues of chronic foot pain have been pretty devastating. And, with diabetes, there's often a devastating diagnosis or complication in the future, hopefully the far future.

I think I'll buy it.

Ceviche

It must be summertime. Dr. Parts is making ceviche!

The fish & scallops is in the bowl at 10 o'clock. The cantaloupe, tomato, and mango is in the bowl at 2 o'clock. And my dinner portion is in the bowl at 6 o'clock. Yum!

I have been testing in the mornings. I had a reading of 87, and then the next day it was 102. All over the map.

The foot pain has been good. I think the Lyrica is helping immensely. It could also be the increased dose of Effexor. I'm up to 225 mg per day. I got to wear my cute shoes a few days this week, without excruciating consequences.

I had my first session with Dr. D, who is the pain psychologist assigned to me through the OHSU Comprehensive Pain Clinic. Well, this is the first treatment session, after my intake session, where I kinda collapsed. Much crying. He had some excellent insights for me and assignments. OHSU CPC made a CD for guided imagery and reaching the relaxation response state. My assignment is to do this 20 minute exercise each day. I also have a copy of the book Managing Pain Before It Manages You by Margaret Caudill. I have certain chapters to work through in that book. I do recommend that book highly.

So, all in all, it's been a good week.

Dr. Parts got his latest HbA1c, which was 8.7. He had to have his thyroid medication adjusted, and he's hoping that his energy level will increase. His doc sent him home with samples of Januvia, but not with instructions to take it.

When, oh lord, when?

Books and Inspiration

I read Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. Loved the book. Very interesting, insightful, encouraging. Loved it.

Then, I went to his site and saw that the book was given an award by these folks at the National MS Society.

Then, at their site, I wandered around and checked out the other award winning books. You know, any book that's won an award called "Better Life", that's gotta be a good book!

So, the one that caught my eye was A Three Dog Life by Abigail Thomas. Great title, great photo, interesting life story. (Well, I was also interested in Piece of Cake by Cupcake Brown, but my local library-may they be forever funded-has it in CD format and is loaning it to me.)

It's the memoir of a woman, Abigail Thomas, whose husband went out to the market and was hit by a car. Husband received a traumatic brain injury, which dramatically altered his memory. He became unable to live independently, and Abigail moved to live near him. The dogs came in, somehow, as part of her new life. I can't wait to read the book. Can't wait. Must have book. Must have book now.


The next link was to go to Abigail Thomas' website. There, I discovered, that she has an earlier memoir and a couple of children's books that I also want. And I discovered that she's a writing teacher.

And she has THIS PAGE about how to get started writing. It is delightful. It is inspiring. It's enough to make me want to try my hand at fiction again, after I just threw out box after box of reminders of my failed first try at fiction. [Please-don't ask. Is it just me, or do other poeple find their past as embarrassing as I find mine?]

And it is inspiring enough to remind me that I should write more...which, in my life, means writing more blog posts.

I hope you like it. I hope I do too.

Just as soon as I go out and get her book and finish reading it.

I read a lot about many different types of disabilities. It's sort of job related, because I do have to be a disability generalist. It also leads me, often, to the conclusion that I'm pretty happy with what I've got, because I sure wouldn't want to be up against what they've got. Diabetes Type 2 looks pretty good, compared to other things..

Trust and the Diabetic Partner

I've been reading this book called 21Ways to Defuse Anger and Calm People Down by Michael Staver.

Confession: I actually read few books. I listen to many many books while driving around in my car, and one of my favorite features about my new car is that it can handle both cassette tape and CD.

So, you may ask, what has this to do with diabetes?

Not much, not directly, except for this one little tidbit. He has this equation: Consistent Behavior over Time equals Trust.

I've been thinking about this in the context of diabetes and the relationships we have, especially in terms of the partners of PWDs. The Diabetes Partner Follies over at Diabetes Mine, always a favorite. And the blog Wife of a Diabetic, although it is not for the faint of heart.

Since I am a diabetic, and the wife of a diabetic, both of us type 2s, I know both roles. I'm also the daughter of two diabetics, the niece of several diabetics, and the granddaughter of two. (Diabetic cousins, please sign in now.)

Do you remember the equation? Consistent Behavior over Time equals Trust.

SOME persons in my family have at some times in the past accused me of being the Diabetes Police. Hmmm, we won't name names.

So, I was venting with a different, non-related, diabetic friend. D-friend shared the opinion that I couldn't possibly be part of the Diabetes Police, because I am a diabetic. Therefore, I do know a little bit about diabetes, and it's not like I'm a non-diabetic imposing my false and out-dated ideas about how a diabetic person should live.

Beggin your pardon, but my non-specific family member might beg to differ with you.

My grandparents eat at the same time, take meds at the same time, test at the same time, share their numbers, and discuss how much insulin to take for a particular meal.

My husband and I do not test together and are fortunate if we eat one meal together a day. We rarely discuss diabetes or diabetes-related topics.

Sometimes, it's along the lines of "Your doctor's office left a message on the machine about your appointment tomorrow. You should listen to it."

"Oh really, what did they say?"

Hard look. "You should listen to it yourself."

I always quiz my folks when I think I can get away with it. "So Dad, how's your diabetes? Did you see that podiatrist you were talking about?"

Let's go back to the equation. If Consistent Behavior over Time equals Trust, is it then true that Consistent Bad Behavior over Time equals Mistrust? Perhaps so.

So, if (relative)thinks my behavior towards (relative) regarding diabetes is bad, and if I do that same (bad) behavior over time, it only builds mistrust. And that's not good for close family relationships.

And the equation might be true for your relationship with your physician, or with your CDE. Consistent Behavior over Time = Trust (or Mistrust).

After several years with my physician, for the most part, she trusts that I know what I'm doing with my diabetes management, because my consistent behavior, as measured by my HbA1cs, over years, has produced trust. This doesn't mean that she doesn't ask questions. She does. She makes herself available for help or adjustments if needed.

But I'm not giving up my family just because they may handle their diabetes differently than I do mine. Sometimes, you just have to trust. And sometimes, you have to be the one to trust first.

It feels sort of like walking out on a frozen pond. It's likely to be OK. It has been OK in the past. But I don't want it to break this time.

[I know, it's rambling and not as funny as the last post. I promise, I'll post any joke I can think of soon. Besides, some of you should write some diabetes jokes, too!]