Play Therapy

I wrote several emails today and got strange questions from my co-workers about them, so I think my brain is 'off' somehow. Here's hoping this entry will make more sense.

Two delightful social workers, S & E, spent their weekends entertaining Dr Parts & me and a roomful of other prospective adoptive parents. [Jargon alert: PAP=Prospective Adoptive Parents, or Potential Adoptive Parents. Lots of new alphabet soup to me.] This was the Special Needs Adoption Coalition training provided for folks who are considering adopting kids who are in the custody of the State of Oregon.

S was especially good. I mean fabulously good. I mean'take me hope adopt me now please please please' good. Entertaining and informative. Realistic. Acknowledging how hard it really is. And it is hard.

So, if I can't adopt George and his brood, I'm happy to say that Dr Parts & I are happy to be considering adopting a boy or two through the State of Oregon.

Right now, I want these three cutie pies. They were listed in the Oregonian today, so I'm OK with linking up to them. Thankfull, Dr Parts will remind me of our practical limitations. In other words, it may be unreasonable to expect a 9th grader, an 8th grader and a kindergardener to share a single bedroom.

Sigh.

We have to collect lots of paperwork and we're probably 6 months out from being ready to present ourselves to the decision-makers as a home-study ready family. That and a lot of cleaning & sorting to do at home. Hopefully these three kids will already be with their growing-up family by that time.

But, we felt committed and ready enough to commit retail.

Thus, the photo. Lego Therapy. The kids may never get this stuff away from Dr. Parts.

Isn't there a LegoLand in San Diego? Or should we go right to Denmark?

I am still frightened that my health and/or my diabetes may prevent me from becoming a parent, even with the adoption route. My foot pain has to be under enough control to give me the emotional reserves to be able to deal with supporting growing boys.

Since seeing the fasting BG reading of 165 yesterday, I didn't test this morning. Not the most health-supporting move.

Tomorrow is another day. Another day to live healthy and make good choices. Another day closer to being a mom.

Why not test?

I am a person with diabetes. I am learning to use this new PC language. I find it unnecessary and awkward. But hey, what's a person with diabetes to do? I am also a person with diabetes who owns a computer with problems and a modem without connection. Thus, the blog that is post-challenged. I must go down to the store and present myself as a person with service plan to the employees with geekness.

I've been thinking about testing.

As you know, it is wise for people with diabetes (type 2) to test regularly. Those of us with diabetes - type 2 - often do not, much to the chagrin of our people-with-diabetes-type-1 friends, who MUST test every few hours to keep themselves and their insulin dosages on track.

Why, my friends with diabetes (type 1) ask, don't people with diabetes type 2 test themselves regularly? Why do they stop testing?

Well, I reply, I think it's because we can. We can stop testing without risking death in the next few hours or days. I think that's the main reason. But I've got a second and third possibility, too.

The second reason, in my opinion, is because the testing doesn't always give us meaningful data.

In other words, If I'm testing daily, and I'm a person with diabetes and my diabetes is under good control, I can test regularly for weeks, months or years at a time and get nice polite readings for my morning fasting number that range between 80 and 120. This number requires no change of behavior on my part. I don't even have to respond to it. So why waste my $1 test strips and test daily? Couldn't I just test once a week and, if I get a nice polite number, test again a week later?

It's like a job performance review that reads "meets requirements" all the way across. No new info. Nothing to work on.

The third reason, in my opinion, is because the testing give us meaningful data that we don't want to know. The numbers are high, but the person with diabetes is unwilling to make any changes that could alter the numbers.

This is a common phenomenon among people with diabetes, especially type 2, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Imagine the frustration of a physician, trying to assist his patient with diabetes, when the patient brings no data. How can such a person think it's OK to enjoy a sugary slurpee on these hot summer days, without testing to see what such a treat does to the BG numbers?

It's just a number. And you DON'T have to respond to it. It's just one piece of data. You could respond to it. But you don't have to.

You can look at the reading and say, hmm, 284, how about that, and still eat the chocolate cake for breakfast. Who's going to stop you?

But it's kind of like driving your car around without looking at the dashboard gauges. Or the traffic signals. Or the street signs.

These marvelous meters are such a great tool. My grandparents didn't have them for most of their years with diabetes. Let's use them. Let's test.

Mother's Day Weekend

I knew that my foot pain was much better this week, when I felt like I could stand during the singing portion of our weekly church service. I love singing with others. And, for us, the one chance per week to sing with others, is this portion of the church service.

I haven't stood all the way through it for some time. Perhaps over a year.

They handed out roses to all the mothers for Mother's Day. I am the correct gender and age to be a mom, so I graciously accepted one, without arguing the point with the teenager.

Dr. Parts and I hit the library and the grocery store after church. We shopped very nicely, with lots of produce and such. Warm weather has hit here, so we are thinking that it is time for some R-Family favorites, such as coleslaw, barbecued chicken, seviche (he makes the best ceviche, however you spell it!) and corn.

I got a little Tupperware gizmo which makes it very easy to make fresh salsa. Yes, it's probably that same thing that they sell at the state fair. It does make small batches. So night #1, we eat chips & salsa for dinner. Night #2, stop & buy another tomato, perhaps a small zucchini or summer squash, chop them, pull out good frozen corn kernels, add the rest of the homemade salsa, mix it up, leave it out on the counter for an hour (that corn has to thaw, silly), and eat for dinner. Yum!

It means fewer dinners of soup and interesting bread, less chili (not my favorite), less hot pasta dishes, fewer baked potatoes. Seasonal food is good food, usually.

I called my mother, who loves me very much. I called my grandmother, who loves me very much. I called my dad, who also loves me very much. It's a hard weekend for Dr. Parts, as it's only his second Mother's Day without his own mom. My mom would stand in, with a warm and loving heart, but it's not the same. We miss Karen.

My numbers are still higher than I'd like, running 100-130 in the morning. I can probably blame that on the 15 pound regained weight. The good news is: I am testing. It's hard to maintain that habit.