Snow Day

This is actually snow day #7, which, IMHO, is seven days too many. And they're predicting four to six more. Yuck.

We're doing OK, enough food & water and plenty of heat. We haven't lost power. Haven't had to go out for medications or medical treatment.

And this is the correct position for snow days in our household.

Two dogs, comfy couch, and the fuzzy blue blanket from upstairs.

Dear Santa,

Dear Santa,

I'd really like to have a pool or spa this Christmas. I'd like this one. Or maybe this one.

I think the possibility of exercising in water are very exciting and would really help me with my diabetes control. There are a couple of problems however.

1. I think you'd also have to include a home or piece of property to fit either one. I just don't think how we could fit such an item in our current 25' x 50' sloping lot.

2. I don't really remember ever having believed in Santa. My mom and my dad gave me presents.

So, this is it. My first letter to Santa. Merry Christmas, big guy. Thanks for cheering people up. They need lots of love and cheering, and some folks only get it from you.

Love,

Lori Rode

Tenth Anniversary

I was diagnosed with diabetes ten years ago this month.

I had given blood at the local Red Cross, and got a letter from them saying that my blood was rejected, due to high liver enzymes.

I went to my physician, saying "What's wrong with my liver?"

Ultimately, his answer was, "Nothing's wrong with your liver, but you have diabetes."

And thus, my diabetes life was launched.

I had to remind my current physician that I am now 10 years post-diagnosis, as there is often a change in this disease that seems to happen 8-12 years after diagnosis. Previous control methods may stop working, and new meds or new eating or exercise plans may need to take place.

I've had to step up my medications. I'm now on Januvia. Hooooray!

It controls my numbers very nicely. I'm still on the other meds, metformin, glipizide, etc.

I remain discouraged about my diabetes, and about my ability to reach my goal of being a very old, very healthy [person with diabetes]. My feet still hurt, but I'm able to function. I'm scared to walk my dogs, though, or do other standing exercise for fear of debilitating pain.

My weight is about 200 lbs. I am discouraged about my ability to get it back down to about 150-160, which would be very healthy for me.

But, life is good.

I'm hoping to become more active in my blog. I know, I know. I took a year off. So sue me.

We'll see how it goes. With this disease, with me, with my life, I've got to focus on the positive. I've got to focus on the next step in front of me, not the 999 miles beyond that. One step at a time, and, in a flash, ten years have gone by.

PS. I owe Bernard $100. I have not forgotten. He is a saint. I'm writing the check today.

I've missed you!

I have missed blogging. It's true. Even though I have not blogged, I have not forgotten about blogging.

I may need to take the blog in a different direction. I'm now informed that the use of 'diabetic' as a noun to describe a person with diabetes is inappropriate. Bleah. I've been so discouraged by my foot pain, and discouraged about the path of my diabetes. I've been thinking that I will not reach my goal of being very old and very healthy, with diabetes.

Work's been crazy. My numbers have been up, but my physician seems, to me, to be slow to act. She wants to test and wait, test and wait. I'm ready for Lantus or Byetta, but she's reluctant. I believe she knows that the insurance company won't pay for Byetta until we go through all the other (cheaper) options.

Dr Parts & I went on vacation. We went to Florida and spent a week in the Orlando area. We spend lots of time in DisneyWorld and also visited the Kennedy Space Center. Lots of fun.

About 1 week before the vacation, I had a classic diabetes experience. I discovered a foot injury VISUALLY. In other words, I injured myself, but did not realize it until I was pulling off my socks later in the evening. I must have stubbed my toe, and split the nail, at about a 45 degree angle, to about halfway down the nail bed. Yup, it was bloody and everything. It was my right big toe. That's where the numbness is starting.

Damn. Time to get slippers or something to wear around the house. I ordered some Keen sandals. I like their toe protection, and it's still close to barefoot. They still haven't arrived.

After I got back from vacation, I went and got a pedicure, and the gal helped work on that right toenail, to make sure it does not become ingrown, after such a deep injury. However, she also worked on the left large toe toenail. And whatever she did, IT has become infected and slightly ingrown. Curses! How does this happen?

I took my new little portable scooter on vacation. My feet felt surprisingly good throughout the vacation. The photo at the top is me, having volunteered, at the Disney Hollywood Studios park. Note the water gear. Do you think that Lori will get wet in the next few moments? Why, yes! Yes, she will!

I'll post more photos, perhaps tomorrow.

Gratuitous Cuteness

It's Chico, the cute dog.

I got my last 2007 Blue Moon Rockin' Sock Club offering today. I LOVE IT!

Beautiful blue-green colorway. It's what my stash would be full of, if I did not show restraint.

And my house would be full of little doggies like the above cuteness if I did not show restraint.

Curses.

Misplaced Meter

I've misplaced my meter, the one I use to get my morning readings.

Which means, I haven't tested my fasting blood sugar in roughly four weeks.

Not great.

I saw this story on ABC today. I thought it summed up the thought nicely.

Now for a different topic: I have a secret quest.

I've been on this quest for some time now. I am in search of the perfect french dip sandwich. I love them!!

The beef should be good quality, but not too thickly sliced. One should be able to separate the beef into bites without sharpening one's teeth. The beef should not be too fatty.

The broth should not be excessively salty. This is hard to tell, as it should be salted, but not excessively salty. There should be plenty of au jus. One should not run out of au jus mid-sandwich.

The bread is key. The bread should not have been microwaved. Do not microwave the bread as it will, in that case, be pre-sogged. The bread should be a french or italian style, which means that it has a nice crust on it, with a good loft, and nice airy cells with which to absorb the jus. It should be significantly different from any standard fast-food hamburger bun. Soft white bread is not worthy of the french dip sandwich.

Cheese is unnecessary. Mayonnaise is unnecessary.

It's always a risk for me to order a French Dip at a restaurant, because I have such high standards. I hate it when I find out that they've used a hamburger-style bun and microwaved it. Yuck.

I will have for you a few examples of both the good and the bad french dip in the next few weeks or months.

Happy Diabetes Day!

I'm pretty angry about diabetes right now.

This disease is awful. It is persistent, ever-present. I feel like it is consuming me, bite by bite.

I'm tired of dealing with it. I'm tired of having a chronic disease.

And I'm tired of the social and political leaders in North America not taking obesity and diabetes seriously. Come on!

Why will they (the infamous they) not pay for weight-loss programs? Why will they not pay for gym memberships and exercise classes? Why are they willing to pay for metformin, but not for New Balance shoes? Why do they quibble over which meter I use, only paying 50% of the test strip cost on this one, but 80 % of the test strips on that one?

Wouldn't an aggressive treatment early on in the disease help make sure that they don't have to pay for kidney dialysis? Would they prefer to pay for orientation and mobility training after another person with diabetes loses his sight to retinopathy? Why withhold mental health treatment for a person dealing with this day in and day out disease?

I feel like I need a coach, a friend, a Jiminy Cricket, to chat with me and encourage me through my day. I don't want to talk to another person about what she has lost to diabetes. I don't want to add to my own list.

Those of us with our diagnoses of diabetes must lead the way. We must be involved and committed to ensuring the health of those who receive their diagnoses five years later, ten and twenty years later, and yes, even one hundred years later.

Your first responsibility is to your own health. But you do have a responsibility to the rest of those around you who also have diabetes. We're counting on you.

And I'll do my part too.

Discouraged

I have not died. I have not fallen off the planet. I am discouraged.

I'm discouraged about my diabetes. My numbers are up. I imagine my HbA1c is going to be around 8.5-9.0. It needs to be below 6.5, 6.0 for best control. And control is important to me, because good control means the best chances for my neuropathy to NOT advance or to advance only minimally.

I've signed up to participate in a study up at OHSU. This study is with Dr. Lou, a neurologist. The study coordinator is Grace. They're studying a known herb to see if it will keep my nerves healthy or permit them to heal. I go in on Wednesday to get my capsules. I hope it's not placebo. The study will last about a year.

I have to check with Dr. Lou and see what we can add to my diabetes regimin that will not impact his study. I'm thinking insulin or Byetta.

I weigh about 195 lbs, which is, I think, my lifetime heaviest. I feel quite desperate about my weight. I'm not fat enough for bypass surgery, but I haven't been successful at losing the weight myself. My foot problems seem to limit thepossibilities of exercise. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Diabetes is a tough disease. (I know this.) It's a day in and day out challenge. (I know this.) And one has to just tough it out, do the daily choices to maintain good health. (I know this.)

And I know that depression goes along with it, and that I'm doing all the right things, as much as I can, to cope and continue on.

I wish it got easier.

I feel guilty about posting such a negative post, because I want to be encouraging to others with diabetes. But I'm struggling. I'm discouraged.

But I'm still in here. And the good days will return.