Very Old, Very Healthy Diabetic

...or die trying.
I was diagnosed in 1998 at the age of 33 with NIDDM or Type 2 diabetes. I come from a diabetic clan. I even married a diabetic. Are you on the diabetes road, too?
This is my goal: to become a very old, very healthy diabetic by day to day choices regarding eating, exercise and medical management. Walk along with me...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Discouraged

I have not died. I have not fallen off the planet. I am discouraged.

I'm discouraged about my diabetes. My numbers are up. I imagine my HbA1c is going to be around 8.5-9.0. It needs to be below 6.5, 6.0 for best control. And control is important to me, because good control means the best chances for my neuropathy to NOT advance or to advance only minimally.

I've signed up to participate in a study up at OHSU. This study is with Dr. Lou, a neurologist. The study coordinator is Grace. They're studying a known herb to see if it will keep my nerves healthy or permit them to heal. I go in on Wednesday to get my capsules. I hope it's not placebo. The study will last about a year.

I have to check with Dr. Lou and see what we can add to my diabetes regimin that will not impact his study. I'm thinking insulin or Byetta.

I weigh about 195 lbs, which is, I think, my lifetime heaviest. I feel quite desperate about my weight. I'm not fat enough for bypass surgery, but I haven't been successful at losing the weight myself. My foot problems seem to limit thepossibilities of exercise. I don't know what I'm going to do.

Diabetes is a tough disease. (I know this.) It's a day in and day out challenge. (I know this.) And one has to just tough it out, do the daily choices to maintain good health. (I know this.)

And I know that depression goes along with it, and that I'm doing all the right things, as much as I can, to cope and continue on.

I wish it got easier.

I feel guilty about posting such a negative post, because I want to be encouraging to others with diabetes. But I'm struggling. I'm discouraged.

But I'm still in here. And the good days will return.

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9 Comments:

  • At 12:16 AM, Blogger Zazzy said…

    Hi Lori - I spent most of the summer in discouraged. When I could force myself to test, the numbers were over 200 (way over) on a regular basis. I figured I was going to be 8 or above on the a1c. Turns out that it was 6.9. Not the greatest number but considering how badly I'd been eating - "remarkably good" per my new endo. I don't know, sometimes these numbers just seem to fall out of the sky rather than have any relation to how hard I'm working. I hope you get a good surprise as well.

     
  • At 5:22 AM, Blogger Rachel... said…

    *hugs*

    Going through sweets/breads withdrawal after falling miserably off the control path. Didn't seem to impact my numbers (much), but still, I was incredibly discouraged.

     
  • At 6:45 AM, Blogger Amylia said…

    Yes, the good days will return. I just started on anti-depressants after one of my lowest points. I weigh more than you and feel uncomfortable in my body right now. I walk every day, but carrying this extra weight is tough. I guess I'm just trying to say I'm with you and I hope that by acknowledging your feelings out loud, stating where you're at might help lessen the hold they have on you.

    Thanks for your candor. I appreciate this post very much. It makes me feel like there are others out there who understand, as well.

     
  • At 1:19 PM, Blogger Scott K. Johnson said…

    Hey Lori,

    I'm feeling like a big slug lately too. We'll pull out of it and get back to good soon.

    Thinking of you!

     
  • At 4:31 PM, Blogger Colleen said…

    Hi Lori,
    I've lurked on your site for quite some time. Just wanted to say hi, and hang in there.

     
  • At 7:24 PM, Blogger Lyrehca said…

    Hang in there. Could you swim for exercise? Do water aerobics? Row? Would any of these be helpful for exercising and not putting much pressure on your feet?

     
  • At 7:30 AM, Blogger elise urbahn said…

    Hi Lori,

    I work at dLife and I was wondering if you would like to be added to our diabetes blogger email list? Once a week we send out a fun/interesting video clip about diabetes. If you are interested- shoot me an email at urbahn at dlife.com!

     
  • At 7:43 AM, Blogger Janet said…

    Dear Lori:

    I am working on a project on health care blogging for a professor at York University’s Schulich School of Business in Toronto, Canada. We are currently working on a project about active bloggers in the health care sphere. We would like to interview a few prominent bloggers by phone (with email follow-up) in order to help us better understand health care blogging. Your excellent blog “Very Old, Very Healthy Diabetic” has drawn our attention, and he would very much like to talk to you.

    We would really like to include your insights in our project. I would like to provide you with more details on compensation for your time and would be delighted to answer any questions you may have.
    I can be reached at womanf306@gmail.com



    All my best,

    Melissa Leithwood
    [Janet]

     
  • At 1:59 PM, Blogger Kerri. said…

    Hi Lori,

    Just checking in to say hello and send warm wishes.

    Thinking of you,
    Kerri.

     

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